How do you adjust your mindset and achieve the most out of life? Join Entrepreneur, Speaker & Author, Jen Groover, as she explains her unique approach to developing a winning mindset, her “life auditing system,” and a “reflection checklist” as we discuss how to pave your own path to maximize potential.
- 3:00 – The entrepreneurial mindset
- 5:32 – The ‘anything is possible’ perception
- 7:58 – The power of learning from your challenges
- 10:08 – Important teachable moments
- 10:50 – Overcoming triggers
- 12:03 – The importance of staying aligned in life
- 14:20 – A practice, a way of being
- 16:09 – Achieving M.O.R.E. out of life
- 18:05 – The reflection checklist
- 20:20 – The life auditing system
- 22:03 – People don’t know what they don’t know
- 24:05 – Processing on a personal + professional level
- 27:46 – Creating a better culture
What If? and Why Not?: How to Transform Your Fears Into Action and Start the Business of Your Dreams – Jen Groover
Full Episode Transcription:
Awesome. So Jen, welcome to learn to win. So happy to see you here.
So happy to be here. We talked about this for a while.
I know, I know, it’s great to.
It’s finally happening.
It’s actually kind of interesting cause I’ve known you for three or four years. I’ve seen like an enormous amount of things that you’ve been doing and contributing to and launching and now your new book.
Birthing a lot of things in the world.
Yeah. I mean that’s how we actually met with the jumpstart startup years ago. In Philly. Right. You’ve done so many things since then. So just before we jump into what you’re doing today, just tell us how you, what where entrepreneurial fuel started for you. Like to talk about birth, like where does it really begin for Jen Groover.
So I had this very clear belief that when I was graduating college thinking what am I going to do? Who am I really going to be? The thought of having a job and working for somebody else made me viscerally ill. And this is back in 1995 before entrepreneurship was cool, right? So I kept thinking, so I’m going to get a job, work really hard for somebody. And then they’re going to tell me I can grow as fast as they say I can grow. That doesn’t sound right to me. How about I grow as fast as I want to grow? And then I’m rewarded on those metrics. And that’s how I started becoming an entrepreneur right out of college in the fitness industry. I had no idea what I was doing, how I was going to do it, but I just figured it out along the way.
So you tapped into the ethos of the current workforce creating work and life on their own terms and were well ahead of the curve.
So where do you, where do you think that came from? Like what, why did you have that feeling?
My dad was an attorney and he had his own practice and he would always say to people when they’re like, why don’t you work with this firm or that firm? And he’s like, I’m going to come and go as I please and I don’t want to work on Fridays. And I was like, Oh, that sounds good. I liked that. Come and go, you please don’t work on Friday. So that was definitely an influence for me. I’m more on the entrepreneurial side. My mom was a creator. She created a TV show with cable vision.
So my mom was a creative, she was very entrepreneurial. There wasn’t really a term for it then, but she would just start things and she was an advocate and she ran campaigns for politicians and just kind of figured out how to do things and started a TV show with cable vision when cable vision first started. And then in that show I would have to sit in the studio every day after school. And I absolutely hated it. But I realize looking back, it influenced me so much because many times on her show she would have professional athletes like Tug McGraw. And Steve Carlton and Roger Gorski and she was obsessed with this. What makes somebody great? And so those were the conversations that were happening subconsciously filtering into my mind and like, yes. And I hated it. And I actually think that like I just wanted to be out playing with my friends and I would try to escape and figure out every excuse to not be there. And it was genius that she had me there suffering through it all. It’s shaped my, my view.
Did she do it intentionally or was it just circumstantially that you, that was her engineer time or was she actually trying to, influence you?
I think both. She, she would bring us to a lot of these experiences for the belief that seeing it makes it something that you can not just remember but can influence you. Like I was at these huge political rallies when I was a little kid watching like thousands of people, like on the floor and my mom’s speaking at them and I’m watching all this happen and you know, it really creates this anything’s possible perception. And I did the same thing to my children. My kids think most women start businesses, go on TV, write books. That’s just kind of what you do.
Did your mom actually specifically teach you that lesson or is that something, you learned unconsciously or subconsciously that anything is possible? Lesson
I think both to Vince Lombardi was my mom’s uncle. And, or like it was like an uncle, not by blood, but he was, you know, always around. My dad was a pharmacist in Brooklyn back in the day and he was a teacher for her as well. And he really influenced that mindset into her. And she would always bring that kind of stuff up. He was very much an impact of how she viewed the world. And so she spoke like that. So part of it was direct and part of it was indirect observation from my part.
And with your daughters, have you intentionally talked to that lesson or have they learned that again, just by watching you and what you’ve been doing and accomplishing in your career?
I’d say both too. I really try not to be so much of a teacher. Like the motivational speaker at home. I get lot of eye rolls when I do that. Not too long ago at the dinner table, my one daughter said, mom, not everything is a life lesson. And I’m like, it is.
But your peas fell off the plate.
But it really is a life lesson. So I tried to live by modeling. I know they’re listening to me on the phone. I know sometimes when I speak to them like I don’t understand what you’re saying. Like a musical vocabulary that’s not standard in their school. But I keep saying to them, you will, you will understand what I’m saying. You might not now, but you will.
So you said you’re not a teacher, but obviously you are. I know we know that education and your role in teaching people is actually a big part of what you do. So tell us a bit about that and how you’re applying that today. Have you been applying over the last five, 10 years? I think there’s many examples of what you could, you could share with the audience.
So, my degree is in education and psychology and I really didn’t know how I was going to utilize that. I knew it would be some way, shape or form in a nontraditional way. And what I found is I am innately a teacher and I love taking every life experience that I have and turning around and using it as useful information for other people and even or, especially when I’m going through something really challenging. The way I get through my challenges is constantly saying I’m learning something really big right now to help other people with and that’s how, I mean 2019 I was riddled with a lot of things that were out of my control. My one daughter getting sick from Lyme disease and it attacked her brain and caused all these health issues is one of the big things and I just kept saying to her, I know there’s a purpose in this for you.
I don’t know what it is right now. And I know it seems unfair, but you were getting prepared for something in your future. And for me, I’m learning something to turn around and teach people too. The interesting part of that was, you know, here she is, her brain got damaged from the Lyme attacking her, her brain. And I teach mindset. I teach beliefs. I teach how to optimize your potential through how you control your mind. And here I am now with a child who really can’t control their mind in the traditional way or in, in an in a healthy way because the damage is not allowing her to do so. So I’m faced with this, this experience that really is teaching me that when I’m speaking to an audience, I have to be considerate of the fact that not everyone’s working with a healthy brain right now and, and educating people how to find if they have a healthy brain or not and how to get a healthy brain if you don’t have that.
And a lot of us are all like short circuited a little bit. Whether it’s for music technology just constantly in our eyes and the state of convergence. People who’ve had concussions when they were kids think nothing of it and there was part of their brain that’s not working right now. So our brains are luckily the fastest way to the fastest organ to heal in our bodies. But most people don’t realize that. And so I feel this experience is a very important teachable moment for me to turn around and teach others.
And then for her seeing you do that, that’s the modeling effect that you want to have happen to her because that is a really tough time. I want to go back a little bit to what you said about when you’re in those moments that are challenging and you say to yourself like, this is, this is going to teach me something that I can help others with. Is that is that your, your mindset that you’ve developed in the moment or do you have a specific like reflection process you go through? And how has it contributed to your new book, which I want to dive into.
So in my twenties, I became very spiritual. And I read everything possible just to understand there’s power greater than us and I believe we all have meaning and purpose here. And that taught me, that was the beginning of learning, this process of having faith that something that’s challenging is happening for a bigger purpose. And whether it’s true or not, I don’t care. It keeps me sane in believing it. And so the process for me is when I’m triggered by something and I want to crumble or be angry or be in a state of blaming, I think. Okay. Let’s pause here. What are the lessons that you’re learning right now and there will be lessons in the future.
How do you catch yourself in the moment? Sorry, if just got to check in. What’s the trigger point for you and your life when you realize that you’re spiraling down that way? You, pause and you stop it.
I feel agitated. But I feel agitated. Agitation is not a normal state for me. I’m usually very calm and kind of just go with the flow and which a lot of people think it’s crazy because I’m such a goal oriented person but I’m a flow oriented person really more than a goal oriented person.
Most high performers are actually flow oriented. It’s towards the goal but it’s in flow, right?
In flow, right. My state that I want to always be in is in flow, in alignment and when I feel agitated or I feel short temper, I know I’m out of alignment and I know that I’m about to spiral and and we have to process through it. It’s not like I just shelve those emotions. It’s really important to process, acknowledge it, feel it, move through it, just like in flow through it and then and then gain your shrink back. Your footing back by saying, okay, what’s the lesson here? What have I learned so far? Having faith that there’s going to be something in the future that’s going to come of it, that I have no idea what it is right now, but it will be magical.
Do you journal it or is there other tech techniques you actually use as part of that reflection? Or is it literally just you’re reflecting on what you’re experiencing, feeling, thinking and then applying that?
I wish I say that I journal more. Yeah. I’ll start and I stop and I start it and I stop it. I think a lot of people do.
Yeah. But I started stop and start and stop.
Usually we start again when we’re feeling lack of clarity in a direction. But I do it, I’m a very reflective person and I believe in reflection time throughout every day. And so I do it in the moment. I usually do it in the moment to, to get more control of my state because if I feel like my state is not where I want it to be, I feel like everything else around me is gonna start to crumble too. I strongly believe when you’re in alignment, everything works out. But when you’re out of alignment, you’re going to attract all these things that you don’t want. So for me, I always say my frequency is my priority. So the second I catch myself out of state, I know it’s my responsibility to get me back there so that I don’t screw up the rest of my day in ways it’s out of my control.
So back to your question, how does this translate it to your book specifically? Cause I imagine this is a part of the underlying purpose and content.
And especially the book just came out the beginning of 2019. Is that right?
No, no 2020, 2020 just launching now.
Oh it just launched because we’ve been talking about it for a while.
We had some delays. In the cover that kind of held us up a little bit. But the more method is a subtitle is a simple formula to get more of everything you desire in life. And it’s a culmination of my 20 years of teaching human potential bringing together psychology, physiology and nutrition quantum physics, metaphysics, neuroscience and Buddhism all rolled up into one framework. I know when I say that to people and I throw a Buddhism at the end, they’re like, what? So what a lot of people don’t realize is Buddhism is emotional intelligence. Emotional intelligence sounds more psychology. But what emotional intelligence really is, it’s a practice, a way of being. And Buddhism isn’t a religion. It’s a way of being being able to be compassionate even when you’re hurt. Being able to be empathetic, being able to forgive and be kind. It’s a practice.
And so a lot of people think about emotional intelligence now. They don’t actually practice it. So I bring Buddhism in there to actually teach people how to practice, put, put these words, compassion, empathy, understanding into practice. Very different than thinking about it. So the more method is a culmination of all of these things under one framework to help simplify for people how to optimize who they are becoming their best version of themselves. Because that seems so big and elusive for so many people, especially if they’ve never done personal development before or gone down a spiritual path before. So my thought was I’ve been teaching this personal development, I’ve been teaching this human potential. What makes me unique? What, what is my unique value proposition to the world? And I asked this before bed, which by the way, is it really powerful tool when you lack clarity in something to ask it before you go to sleep.
And after a couple of sleeps for me it was the first night you’ll wake up with that clarity in the middle of the night because your subconscious mind starts processing. Exactly. So I woke up three o’clock in the morning as I usually do. You teach people how to get more everything they want out of life because it’s not just about business. For me, I teach people who have more energy, more mental clarity, more fulfilling relationships, more self-love. So it’s not just me teaching people how to optimize their sales strategies. And then all of a sudden like a download from above was more, that’s an acronym. And just without even thinking about it and see as where mindfulness and all that you do, Oh, is optimization of body and brain, ours responsive versus reactive life. And he is excelling in all aspects. Like woke up that morning, I called my publisher and I was like, I got it. This is it. This was a download from a higher consciousness. This will be huge. And that’s how it started.
It’s exciting. So, and the thing that is coming up for me, back to the question I asked you and now was that in the practice of Buddhism is that awareness piece, right? A big part of it is awareness and like that settling if you will, and then being able to experience whatever, again, the higher calling or whatever you’re experiencing, positive, negative state, all of those pieces start. And then it starts the internal work then becomes the external example. You know, whatever we’re gonna call it.
So you say awareness, right? And that’s why the first piece of how do you get more of everything you desire life. You first must be mindful, the end. And, and I actually created an auditing system for people because mindfulness, again, to someone who has not done this work seems very elusive. I actually spoke to this author that gave me this clarity who wrote about six, eight books on performance, which the author, I don’t even remember his name. I wound up meeting him at one of those like book expo events and we were having a conversation and his energy was so repelling to me and it, and it just felt there was like such a huge disconnect in who he was and what he was selling. And he asked me, how do I sell more? And I was like, you need to be authentic. Like I’m not feeling authentic energy here at all.
And he goes, well, how do I get there? You know, how do I get clear as to who I really am because I’ve been this fake person with these masks for so long. And I said, you have to be reflective, like reflect constantly. And he literally looks at me and goes, how do you do that? And I was like, Oh my God, I take this for granted. I take it granted that I just naturally reflect. And for someone who’s never been reflective, they really don’t know how to like sit, reflect. It’s like a tool. It’s a skill that people have to develop. So that brought me back to this, like understanding that I’m taking so many of these things that I do naturally for granted and how do I teach people to get to the granular foundation of being mindful. And so I created this checklist for people to begin to become aware of the thoughts, thinking the words, choosing the foods that you’re eating or anything you’re putting in your mouth, creating a chemical reaction the people you’re surrounding yourself, what you’re doing in your free time, what weather you’re in and how do you feel like really creating this checklist for people to start to become aware of how to reflect.
I think that’s such a critical realization of yours too, to realize that something you find so just innately natural for you. That’s where the biggest growth can happen when you bring that to someone who has no concept of how to do what is totally natural for you. That changes the that person and realizing that it’s missing from the other person. And I love that you put an actual step by step framework to something it seems like, well obviously everyone reflects. Because they don’t.
Yeah, they don’t, and when you say mindfulness to people, which is a huge buzzword, right? People think yoga, meditation and that, those are practices of their exercises of it. That’s not how you become mindful. I mean it’s an exercise to get closer to it, but you’re actually become mindful of creating this auditing system of your life on a regular basis. And when I put it in that terms, especially when I’m speaking to people in the financial industries and stuff, it’s an auditing system. They’re like, Oh, I get it, I know how to, now I know how to do it. But it’s even like the optimization of body and brain. Oh, I have a checklist an auditing system for people. How you, what you do to your body affects how you feel, how you feel affects what you do. And so there are simple things in there like sleep, like a lot of people are like, Oh duh, obviously.
And I’m like, no, you don’t actually analyze how your sleeping is affecting how you’re performing or how you’re not sleeping. And I’ll ask people like, how many people have like a bedtime routine? How many people have trouble sleeping? So when people say that they have trouble sleeping, I’m like, did you ever try to train yourself to sleep? And they’re like, Oh. And I’m like, okay, give me your bedtime routine. And they’re watching TV, they’re on their phones. And I’m like, we’re like Pavlov’s dog. If we actually create a sleep routine, our body already is conditioned to know what’s going to happen before it happens and puts itself to sleep. Just that little tweak could change someone’s life. It’s crazy.
So this is fascinating. So you, do you find when you’re teaching in a group or someone teach it individually, there’s a different level of resonance, or is does it not matter like when you’re teaching to companies versus someone who really chosen to pursue the M.O.R.E Method? Like is it, how is that differentiating to you?
I think I actually like the people who are on there. They’re not suspecting to transform or change. They’re just sitting in this thing that their company said that they had to be in and they come up completely awakened. And that to me is so exciting to watch. Somebody who just had this new awareness, or I’ll see people crying while I’m speaking, or I’ll see people’s body language completely shift and change and, and they come up after and they’re like, that just changed my life. And that to me, I always say that to them is, this is just the beginning. I just, Oh, I just woke you up. Yeah. You have to keep going on your own. Don’t let it stop here. So that’s what, the more methods,
That’s all it takes. yeah, just a little spark.
Well, it’s, a lot of people just don’t know what they don’t know. And a lot of people don’t realize tools exist. I mean, I’m always surrounded by, for the last 20 plus years of my life, people who are dedicated to personal development, that is a choice of my intentional living. A lot of people aren’t right? So when I begin to suggest this to people who have not even been exposed to intentional living, it is a whole new world opens and they just don’t know where to get the tools. They don’t know what to watch, what to read, who to surround themselves with and thank god for social media because now it’s so much easier. So I’ll say to them, just follow me and watch what I’m posting and watch who I’m talking to and look at who my friends are and then you’ll, that will set you on a path.
Amazing. So 10 years from now, where do you see this ultimately going? You have the vision on it. You’re doing the reflection on it. So like, where does this, this is a step on the journey for you. Where do you see this going?
So right now I’m doing, I’m beginning doing more method certifications and I’m partnering with an insurance company that basically does wellness programming. The division of it, does wellness programming and starting to add this content into corporations all over to connect the mind and body in a, in a real way. I mean, we talk about it, but no one’s really doing it. How, how has your physical performance, your physiological state affecting your mental and emotional state and vice versa. So that’s a big one for me right now is getting all these trainers trained to duplicate me to then be inserted in these corporations all over the world. I believe strongly believe that companies are responsible for harnessing the power of their employees and many don’t even understand the value of that.
It’s also facilitating it, right. Literally, you’re exposing them, making them wake up to the fact that exists. I mean, it’s the hardest thing through the fact that they have to sleep again and be aware of it. But I think some people, there’s a huge gap, I think, between people’s awareness of that even existing, and then you know, the tactics to accomplish it.
And it’s not even just the importance. We interviewed in front of ours, Michael Gelb, yeah, a few episodes ago, and he’s got a new book, the healing organization. It’s all about creating amazingly strong, balanced, successful employees. Both are degenerative. Yeah. I mean it’s just, yeah, it’s about making your staff, and I don’t know how did you say it? Maximizing your, yeah. Maximizing the potential of your staff, not just in terms of, Oh, do they know how to use this tool? A QuickBooks, it’s, there’s an ROI on making your employees happy and healthy.
There is a huge ROI and teaching here.
That’s a great quote.
There is, there’s a huge ROI in teaching your place how to process emotions, pain, struggle. And what happens at home does come into the workplace whether we want to acknowledge it or not. It does. So if someone’s going through a divorce and then off coping skills and this divorce turns into this blow up experience of two emotionally unintelligent people battling it out from their egos, their productivity is going to be messed up for years, years. And so,
And the family effect of that, keep in mind too, fall out everything.
Absolutely, so if you’re an employer and you can teach your employees how to process these challenging things that are personal but, they are professional then you will help harness that potential. And all employees, they’ll have greater fulfillment. They’ll complain a lot less because of that fulfillment. They’ll have less sick days because they’ll feel really good emotionally intelligent people choose wisely. So they’re healthier, they’re happier, they feel more whole and complete, and they’re not looking for their boss to make them happy.
They’re responsible. Yeah.
Right. Very responsible. And so that’s a huge part for me is to get companies to wake up and see this and incorporate this, this understanding of connectivity of all aspects of our lives and all these disciplines that are out of our lives and deepen. I think all these challenges I had in 2019 were for me to deepen my understanding for me to get to the next level of mastery so that I could keep building on the content I’ve already created.
So this is so relevant anyway. So obviously, you know, the show is called learn to win, right? You’re working. In my opinion, it’s important to educate the leaders, right? The true people that are setting the pace the tone cause they’re going to elevate the level of possibility and everyone. How are you kind of educating the corporate America C-suite on these topics? I mean, I think a lot of people in leadership already are doing some of this, or maybe not intentionally, maybe they’re not really doing it with the end of a greater purpose outside of productivity. Right? So how do you cultivate more of that lack of a better word, spirituality in business.
Yeah. I approach it through the cultural conversation. Creating a better culture. That’s a hot buzz word for people, right? I learned something in television years ago to have your agenda, but meet people where they’re at. So I used to want to go on TV and talk about entrepreneurship, but everyone wanted me to talk about fashion because I had a handbag company and I’d say to my publicist, I don’t want to talk about fashion. So we get on TV and talk about the fashion and then talk about the business. So I always decide or, or observe where the conversations are right now. And culture is a huge part. So if I can have that conversation around culture, which they’re open to listening to, well then say when you create a greater culture or a better culture, there’s more engagement, there’s more fulfillment, there’s more happiness, there’s all of these things.